Lets Talk About What To Do If Your Roommate Is Dating A Guy You Hate

Your living space should be the place you come home to and feel comfortable plopping down on the couch, covering your skin in a lotion-y face mask, and having catch-up convos with your roommate. It shouldn’t feel like a place that you have to tiptoe around and stay captive in your room, avoiding the other people that are coming and going.

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Sadly, that’s how it can feel if your roommate is dating someone that makes you want to hide all the toilet paper when they go to the bathroom (or even something much less dramatic). And, while most of us aren’t stuck sharing a tiny cabin on a boat while also working together like Brooke Laughton and Hannah Ferrier are on Below Deck Mediterranean, it doesn’t make the situation with guys we meet (on dry land) any easier.

Here’s how to handle your life — and your living situation — when they become infiltrated by a boyfriend (like João Franco) who is starting to feel like another roommate, the annoying kind that never washes the dishes and always watches the TV on full volume when you’re trying to snooze. (Or makes out with your friends.)

Protect Your Personal Space

The first thing you should do is make sure that your stuff and your belongings are protected. Install a protective lock on your door or let your roommate know that what’s behind your closed door should stay there. Keep your room off-limits, that way you don’t have to worry about him snooping around, borrowing a pillow, or invading your privacy when you’re hiding out in your bed to seek some alone time.

If you’re sharing an actual bedroom (or bunk on a boat), it can be much trickier … but it’s still possible to lock up your essential items in a trunk or case.

Set Boundaries

Your house is your space. Even though you share it with your roommate doesn’t mean that you should also have to share it with the person she’s choosing to bunk with. Let her know that her man can’t just stay over or be over every second of the day. Set boundaries and rules on how many nights each week he’s allowed to crash there before it’s appropriate to ask him to start paying rent or to ask her to move out.

Be Vocal About What’s Irking You

If you and your roommie are BFF’s, it might be hard for you to want to express how much you don’t like her bae, but you have to do it in a mature way. If there’s something about the way he acts or behaves in your apartment, let your roommate know those specifics so she can help curb the things he does in your space that bothers you. If it’s his overall personality and the way he treats her, you can let her know that you love her and the time you spend together, but when he’s around you don’t want to be around, and since the apartment is shared space, you’d appreciate if she wouldn’t bring him around as much as she does.

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John Willis is a graduate of Developmental Communication from the University of the Philippines. He works for Severedfifth.com as the editorial manager of the team.